Thursday, September 27, 2012

I am

I am the sum of my experiences and my choices, 
I am the culmination of my pleasures and pains.
I am as strong as my faith in you,
I am as weak as my faith in everything else.
I am what I keep of myself. I am what I lose to you.
I am my broken thoughts. I am my kingdom of hurt.

Saturday, August 29, 2009

Flying bag

“It was one of those days where it’s a minute away from snowing, and there was this electricity in the air. You can almost hear it. Right? And this bag was just dancing with me, like a little kid begging me to play with it, for 15 minutes. That’s the day I realized that there was this… entire life behind things…and this incredibly benevolent force… that wanted me to know that there was no reason to be afraid… ever. Video’s a poor excuse, I know, but it helps me remember. I need to remember. Sometimes there’s so much… beauty…in the world…I feel like I can’t take it, and my heart…is just going to cave in.”

White Dreams

I dreamt of you today,
your smile radiating bliss,
brighter than the sun at mid-day
it appeared, bright and luminous.

The most beautiful thing
I have ever seen, by far,
Its beauty and power
almost unbearable.

I woke up, and tried hard
to cling on to the moment
when it shone the brightest.
A lost battle, it was.. alas!

But despair, I do not
for dream of it again, I shall
Aren't dreams but
the deepest desires
of the sub-conscious mind?

Sunday, August 9, 2009

Movie Review: ONCE (2006)

An Irish modern-day romantic musical, this one took me quite by surprise actually. Saw this movie with absolutely NO expectations whatsoever, and the charm and the feel-good factor of it was simply amazing; you can't help but get lost in the simple, linear storyline as the story slowly unfolds, and you find yourself humming along to the uplifting academy-award winning soundtrack ( must make special mention of the numbers "Falling Slowly" and "When your mind's made up"). A nice, pleasant and delicate movie.

Very impressive and wonderfully natural performances by the actors. Glen Hansard has got quite some talent, he portrays a busker on the streets of Dublin, his voice literally hitting the right notes as it soars from one fantastic number to another, and Marketa Irglova complements him perfectly while she delivers a luminous performance playing the role of a Czech immigrant who later goes on to become the keyboardist in Glen's band. Although musicians first and actors second, in both the areas, Glen and Marketa acquit themselves well.

The blinking streetlights, the vacant shops, the dishevelled state of the bedroom, all go on to provide a poetic backdrop for the film's lengthy tracking-shots, epitomized in a sequence where Marketa walks all the way back home from the local hardware store in her pyjamas and slippers while listening to one of Glen's songs on her disc player.

Touching, inspiring, uplifting, funny and hard to forget, ONCE may well be the best music film of our generation, and in its own way, blows you away.

My Rating: 8/10

Thursday, July 9, 2009

When you aren't sleepy at 3am

I'm a night person... I do the most random things at the most weirdest of times.. Its past 3am. I spent the last 3 hours organizing all the files in my PC, and I ended up finding a lot of interesting stuff in the process. A collection of poems and short stories that an old friend had penned down while we were in school..a couple of Simon and Garfunkel mp3s which a friend from Kolkata had sent to me a while back, a few pdf files of Michael Crichton's works...loads of picture files of the weirdest kind.. (No, I'm not uploading them here!!).. a bunch of executable applications to kill time..(including an interesting one which replaces the mouse pointer with a hammer, allowing you to "hammer" your screen down and virtually break it apart.. oddly satisfying) a couple of movies I'd downloaded and then forgotten about.. a Movie database I'd attempted to maintain for my DVD collection.. a couple of interesting conversations I'd saved as text files.. and loads more insignificant stuff.

After going through all the trash that had turned up in the last 3 hours, I felt this sudden urge to go through my Google mail archives.. so I spent the next 45 minutes digging through all my old mails and conversations.. it's surprising how time passed as I went through lengthy applications that I had filled, surveys I had helped other friends with, posts that I had replied to, endless conversations I'd had with the most random people on even more random topics, couple of pics of random stuff (my favourite one being a screenshot of a completed Scrabble game I played and BARELY managed to win against an extremely tough competitor.. sweet sweet victory!!), movie reviews I very enthusiastically gave to my friends, a term paper on Walt Disney's works, a few more mp3s, mails on fan merchandise, and lots of other stuff. Trust me, it's a REALLY awesome experience to go through lengthy conversations you held with people in the past, and stumble upon your weak attempts at inducing laughter, or even a smile..

Nearly 4am and the dogs in the neighbourhood have been awoken by a passing truck.. i guess i'll hit the sack now and leave you with a few lines from a poem I stumbled upon earlier in the night..

The rain stops and my pessimism strikes again,
Only this time I drive it away,
Thinking of myself-smiling, happy and devoid of pain,
The 'optimist' in me adamant to have its way!

I have learnt to dream once more,
A dream that it had always been,
Feeling satisfied to the core,
To change myself I am just too keen!
- Yin Yang and me ( A Sneha )


Long way to the top???

They told him don't you ever come around here
Don't wanna see your face, you better disappear
The fire's in their eyes and their words are really clear
So beat it, just beat it
- Michael "Jacko" Jackson (Beat it)

Michael Jackson was nothing short of a genius, a true ambassador of not only POP music, but of all music, whose popularity spanned generations and the globe. Rarely has the world received a gift with the magnitude of talent and artistry as Michael Jackson. A true musical icon, whose instantly recognizable voice, stunning musical versatility, awe-inspiring dance moves and sheer star power catapulted him from his glitzy and controversial childhood into famedom. I still remember, back in my childhood, how I used to go crazy everytime I saw him performing the moonwalk, or when the video of "In the closet" was played on MTV.. I must confess I was also unclear of his gender until around the age of 8, after having endless debates with dad about the same. :) He shall truly be memorialized as the '83 Moonwalking, MTV owning, mesmerzing, unstoppable, invincible Michael Jackson.

But as the world mourns the death of one of the most influential artists and performers of our times, I can't help but wonder, are all great musical legends (with the exception of a handful of them, like Johnny Cash or even Mick Jagger, who's several years older than my granpa and still shows no signs of stopping) destined to die sooner than.. well... say.. the mortality table's estimate??

Buddy Holly, who is often described as the "single most influential creative force in early rock and roll" died in plane crash ( The Day the Music Died ) in 1959, at the young age of 22!!

Jim Morrison, lead singer and lyricist of The Doors, was one of the most charismatic frontmen in rock music history, and died at the age of 27 under suspicious circumstances. The cause of death was never determined.

Jimi Hendrix, without doubt, the GREATEST guitarist of all time, and one of the most important and influential musicians of his era across a range of genres, had asphyxiated in his own vomit (mainly red wine) and died at the age of 27.

Elvis Presley, a cultural icon and "The King of Rock and Roll" died at the age of 42, due to combined drug intoxication. One of the biggest heartthrobs of his era, towards the end, he had become a grotesque caricature of his sleek, energetic former self, barely able to pull himself through his abbreviated concerts. H was found dead in his bathroom, and medical reports revealed that he had stumbled or crawled several feet before he died.

Marvin Gaye, one of the top selling solo artists of the 60's, whose career spanned the entire history of rhythm and blues from fifties doo-wop to eighties contemporary soul, who influenced a generation of recording artists of various genres, was shot to death at point blank range by his father after a domestic argument. He was 45 then.

Freddie Mercury, frontman of the rock band Queen, was famous for his vocal prowess and flamboyant performances. Few can ever match his levels of grace and showmanship. He was described as " a performer out to tease, shock and ultimately charm his audience with various extravagant versions of himself". He died of AIDS induced bronchopneumonia at the age of 45.

Jeff Buckley, one of the most promising singers/songwriters of the 90's, whose cover of Leonard Cohen's Hallelujah is a constant presence in most IPODs, in 1997, went for a swim in a channel of the Mississippi river singing Led Zeppelin's "Whole lotta love" . He drowned and his body was found by a tourist on a riverboat a week later. He was aged 30 then. And he was NEVER an abuser of drugs, and was in a good frame of mind prior to the accident.

There are many more instances similar to the ones stated above... and one can't help but wonder, does early death come as a part of the package of a rockstar's life? Why are some of the greatest gifted legends pulled away from us so soon? Either God (if there IS something of that sort) must be a huge rock fan who doesn't mind abusing his almighty powers, or there must be a SERIOUS lack of entertainment up there (one's NEVER heard of cable TV or internet in heaven, have they?) or we are clearly not considered to be worthy enough of enjoying the divine music produced by these gifted bunch of people. Whatever the reason may be, it's a big put-off for budding rock musicians... :x

Another thing that worries me is how drugs and alcohol invariably end up becoming an important part of a rock musician's life. I myself have worked with many bands in the past, and I couldn't help but notice the number of drug abusers I was working amongst. And these were regular college going kids belonging to my age group. Before and after every jam session, show or band meets, there used 2 be a dope session. And we consider ourselves to be mature enough to decide our nation's leaders after the age of 18!!

Hopefully, sense shall prevail soon enough and these young guys and girls will learn the harmful effects of their habits sooner rather than later. And I dearly hope there's an increase in the average life expectancy of people involved in the music industry. I'm sure hundreds of thousands echo the same feeling as mine.. No one would wanna see their favourite musicians pass away when they're at the peak of their careers (oh wait, i guess Britney Spears or Paris Hilton would be exceptions.. and yeah, maybe those bunch of guys who comprised Westlife :P )

Until then.... rock on!!

"Its a long way to the top, if you wanna rock and roll" - AC/DC

Sunday, July 5, 2009

My first post!!

A BLOG? Why? Why not, really? I'd been toying with the idea of maintaining a blog of my own for a while now, and the only thing that kept me from doing so was... well... random stuff. It's been a really eventful summer, a roller coaster ride all throughout. Got to meet loads of fantastic people, share ideas, opinions, thoughts. There were also times when I lost touch with reason, I watched life criticize the truth, almost ended up throwing in the towel, too tired to fight; dusted myself off, sucked my gut in, and got back into the ring for another round. Yup, some summer this has turned out to be.

Anyway, I must confess I did wonder if blogging was going to be of any use at all, or would I just end up wasting hours pondering over what to write about. But yes, it's surprising to see how easily words flow once you sit down to write (type?!?) down stuff. Even flow, thoughts arrive like butterflies.. so goes the Pearl Jam number... it was the most appropriate title I could think of for my blog.. wasn't easy to choose one (the other contenders being as random as the now cliched "Comfortably numb", "Life in technicolor", "Stuck in a moment", "Mask of sanity" , "Saturday night" to something as mundane as "Chop suey", before I zeroed in on Even Flow). Thousands of times I have questioned myself if I would get anything out of blogging, and it didn't take very long to realize that it's fun, it's therepautic, it's a great way to self-introspect, a fantastic way to keep an account of different phases of emotions.. a place where I could manifest my thoughts into words, without really having to be extra cautious or anything.

Lets get one thing straight... my blog isn't gonna be anything like a diary. My life is not an open book for everyone to read. Blogs don't necassarily have to showcase the state of mind of the blogger... I'm not aware of the Blogger's Code of ethics, if there exists such a thing, but I shall try and see to it that no post of mine upsets a certain group of people, or anyone in particular.

So yeah, without bothering you any further with the details of WHY I've started blogging, I'll go ahead and leave you with a verse from one of my fav Bon jovi number..

If I don't believe in Jesus, how can I believe the Pope
If I don't believe in heroin, how can I believe the dope
If there's nothing but survival, how can I believe in sin
In a world that gives you nothing, we need something to believe in.
- Something to believe in (from These Days), Jon Bon Jovi